Well, considering the time I did actually knuckle down to write it, I was getting more persuaded to just leave it for tonight. I knew I wouldn't forgive myself for leaving it for two nights in a row.
And also, considering the fact that I won't be able to write anything properly, including blog, on the dates between the 16th and the 18th of August. I'm going to London, and I won't have my computer on me!
Shame, eh?
No need to worry though. It'll all be okay. I'll take a pen and paper and start writing on pen and paper for it.
So that should keep my pretty up to date.
Without Further ado, here's the next chapter. I'm going to post the notes I did for Fictionpress, I don't have the time for typing out a whole new set...
First off, I'd like to say thanks to the reviewer who reviewed this and mentioned the mistakes, plot holes, typos and such. That really helps a lot, and with the whole fake names, thanks for pointing it out. I'll have to clear all that up when I come around to doing all the editing and stuff. I noted it at the beginning of the story as something to explain. But a HUGE thanks for the really long review. Your criticism was greatly appreciated!
Also, totally need to sort out what day everything happens on. It's really confusing. So, starting from Today, it's Wednesday, he's had a total of three therapy sessions, the one where I put into the story and two since then, so that makes it roughly about 2 weeks since the happenings in the last chapter. The reason for this was, I thought it was going ridiculously slow, and I needed to pick up the pace and I didn't need to do a whole chapter on the revelation that Danny Istari had 'returned' to the people. I might put it as a flashback in a later chapter.
Another thing I need to change the way the school operates on what subjects are taken and such. It doesn't work out right. Everything should be the other way around. So, when it comes to editing later on, that'll be changed too.
Sorry for any confusion!
Chapter 21
The news of Danny Istari’s return (which still eluded me) took the media by storm. There was a new wave of hope that gripped the city, state, country, world. Whichever.
There was hope with anyone, but me.
The longer I sat around, trying to learn my powers, keep up with my life, therapy, and now school was beyond, the longer they were away from me. The faster the hope dwindled.
Jamie had been helpful, of course, but it wasn’t quite cutting it. It was like learning English from a person who never spoke English. It just made things ten times harder when she said stuff like ‘I’m not sure how you did it, you just did’.
It’s now Wednesday. Three therapy sessions down and I was closer and closer to that hypnosis thing that she’d mentioned in the first one. I keep bringing it up. But I’ve had an idea. I got it when I was catching up on my Junior year (my year) of schoolwork.
The idea was, maybe, the hypnosis would work better if I went to the place where I woke up. That little ranch house.
I hadn’t asked Mrs Connors yet. I was going to ask her in our next therapy session on Monday. She told me, if I wanted, to write down anything I was feeling, when I felt angry, sad, happy, and the reasons why. She ironically said, it would help me remember things that were happening now.
But I was nervous about it. From the memories I’d now gotten back, I’d had a few more dreams over the last week or so. All from the time I was there, wherever there is. None of it was good. It was always torture.
I was beginning to get really jumpy. The slightest sounds and my heart was pounding, the slightest touch and I stiffened up. I’d refused to hug my Grandmother when she’d come over to visit and see how I was doing. I was pretty sure my family were beginning to notice it too. They were worried for me.
I’d just resorted to smoking more pot.
What would Hayley and Jesse think of me now if they saw me? Me, in this state. I was hopeless.
Not many magicians had shown up either. There were two or three. I’d defeated them, but it was hard. But the practice was good. I was getting better with them. I didn’t need to concentrate as much as I used to.
One thing I hadn’t learnt about though was this tome. It appeared in most of my memories. Jamie didn’t know anything about it, and until I got my memory back, I didn’t know anything about it.
Another thing that was chewing me out was the fact that, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I hadn’t had any information stored on my computer about all these magicians. Jamie said she was sure that I kept something on my computer. But I hunted every file on the computer and nothing came up. I didn’t know what else to do. According to my Mum, the only external memory I had was the one I used to for school, I searched that disk too and nothing came up on that.
I was left with a blank. Damn memory loss. Damn magicians. Damn me.
But I couldn’t let those thoughts consume me. Looking from my ceiling, where I had been staring, I looked at the clock and saw that the time was 6:15. It was time to get up. Not that I’d slept much that night. I was woken up by a memory again, and I wasn’t able to get back to sleep again. That was about three this morning.
I don’t know whether I should put it down to nerves about going back to school, or the fact that my memories are haunting me.
I would have laughed had it not been for the fact that everyone else in the house was still sleeping. Or so I thought, anyway, Jamie was in college this morning so I guessed she’d probably be waking up soon too, so I wouldn’t be alone all morning.
I ate my breakfast slowly, hoping that the slower I moved, the slower the time would go and that I wouldn’t have to go to school then. I’d considered faking illness; Jamie said that loads of kids my age did that. She said Mom would know in an instant if I were actually sick or just ‘pulling the wool over her eyes’ as she said. I didn’t have a clue what that was supposed to mean.
Jamie sat down opposite me and studied me. I could feel her penetrating gaze without even looking up.
“Another memory?”
“What gave it away?” I asked sarcastically.
“Well, you’re up early, and it looks like you’ve spent the whole night awake.” She rationalized. Was it a good thing that your sister knew you this well? I wasn’t so sure myself.
“Thanks for your analytical observation.” I replied, still not looking up from the cereal bowl in front of me.
By 7:30 I was all ready for school. My bag packed with all the stuff Mr Erickson told me I’d need, and my class schedule.
- English 3
- Maths 3
- Biology
- Chemistry
- Lunch
- Physics
- American History
- Computers
Seemed like a pretty boring day to me. The classes weren’t what I was worried for. I’d passed both of the tests Mr Erickson had given me, and I’d caught up with my year pretty fast.
It was the people. I knew I was supposed to remember them. I was scared that I would offend them if I didn’t remember them. What happens if I accidentally did something to someone I was supposed to. From what I’d heard from Jamie I was pretty low on the social standing of school. What happens if I had other friends beside Hayley and Jesse and didn’t remember them?
I didn’t want to hurt anybody.
Would the people feel strange to see me back in the classroom with them? Would people treat me different? I’d hoped not. I didn’t want to deal with people looking at me thinking ‘you returned, so why didn’t the others?’, or asking me stuff about torture and how I lived through it. Questions I didn’t know the answer to, and most certainly didn’t want to answer to.
It hadn’t helped that Jamie had told me that High School was brutal, one of the harshest places I’ll ever go to. So did that mean it was worse than the torture memories I was getting at night, when I was asleep? I knew I couldn’t ask Jamie about that. She knew I was having torture memories, but she didn’t know how bad they were. She wasn’t there to experience it.
My brain feels like it’s moving a thousand miles a second.
I’m panicking. I don’t want to be an outcast.
I don’t want to go to school without Hayley and Jesse. The friends I have that I don’t remember.
The friends I don’t even know if they’re alive or not.
I just felt like crawling into a whole and lying there and crying my heart out.
“Come on, Danny, I’ll drive you to school.” Maggie shouted as she walked down the stairs. It was 7:40.
“Okay.” I replied hesitantly.
“Don’t worry, everything will be okay in the end?” She soothed me. Though I wanted to ask her, would everything be okay in the end, as in, I’d get my friends back? I’d get m memories back? I wouldn’t be so dependant on pot? I wouldn’t have half of the problems on my back as I do now?
I’m only 17, should I have to deal with stuff like this?
No would be the obvious answer.
The school building loomed tall over me. I didn’t remember it ever being so big on the other occasions I was here. There were loads of other students too. Of course, I hadn’t expected to be the only one. But seriously? There were like millions of them.
I walked slowly to the entrance, aware that with every person that noticed me, another ten people did. Soon enough, the whole of the front yard would be looking at me. I picked up my pace and made it inside as fast as I could without making it look like I was running.
Luckily, Mr Erickson had showed me to a new locker when I was here last (they’d given my old one away. I guess they’d lost hope too), it was okay.
I loaded everything I didn’t need into it and walked quickly to homeroom. Luckily, that too, was with Mr Erickson, so I was more than acquainted with what way to go and quick.
I heard the bell ringing overhead, a loud piercing sound.
I stepped into the classroom.
“Well, if it isn’t the freak. Welcome back.” A blonde male sneered at me. And that was the beginning of my hell.
So, I hope you liked it, and I know the font changed for some reason, but oh well, I'm going to bed.
Night!
No comments:
Post a Comment