Of research into getting books published. I know I'm a long long way away from getting one of my books published mainly for the fact that I need to finish one first. Though how everything works out has always been a big curiosity to me.
I've been getting floods of ideas for my stories see, and I plan on finishing at least one of these novels by the end of the year, even if it's a first draft and struggles to reach over 20 pages. The main thing is that I've written it and I can go from there and increase it by a couple hundred pages.
I've also been questioning myself a lot lately, like if I really want to go to University or do I want to go and flat out pursue my career, I think gaining a degree in English will support me better in my career, but then another part of me thinks well I can pursue my career just fine without the aid of a University degree. But even if I go to University not just for the career but for the experience, I'll be missing out on loads, I think.
And then there's the problem of actually getting there in the first place. I've had like no work ethic at all this Easter, and now I'm finally realizing how much work I've actually got to do and I basically have to do it all tomorrow or I'm going to be in some trouble with the school.
Life just sucks really. I'm actually going to have to do something about my school report and I haven't yet decided where I'm going to hide it because I'm definitely not going to be showing it to my parents until absolutely necessary. I feel embarrassed that it's such a bad report. They all praise me then give me the crappiest marks, this though gives me the determination to revise and do well just to prove to them that I work harder than they think I do, that I deserve more than a D and C's in most of my subjects. Maths is understandable, I haven't done well in Maths all year, but English literature a D? Now that just didn't seem all that right to me, especially when I've been working all that much harder than most people in the class. Which makes me really ashamed to hand over my report to my Mum and Dad, I can lie to them for a certain amount of time, but I'm not sure how long I can actually carry the lie out. I mean, I can act the forgetful person, but in the end that one will get tiresome.
I think this is the only time you'll ever hear me thank the Lord for exams for them to draw their mind away from my report, then there's bacc work to worry about and work experience so that will be a big help in helping them to forget then when the school year ends I won't have to worry about it again! Plan solved, right?
I bet I'm gonna look back at this post in a coupla years time and think what an idiot I am for refusing to show my report and I should have ballsed up and showed it to them no matter what the consequence, but at the moment, I don't care what future me thinks. Future me just wants to focus on exams and do well in them so I can rub it in their snot nosed faces that I proved them wrong and maybe they should have thought about that before marking me down.
Ha, take that school.
I can't wait to finish this damned school, a change of scenery would be nice and without the constant reminders that I have so and so amounts of work to do in the time that I don't have because their shoving essay's down my throat.
It's going to be an interesting start to the term, I can assure you.
Anyway, I think I've ranted enough now.
Night!
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