I've finally got a day off tomorrow.

I was asked to go in tomorrow, and I've said I can't. To be honest with you, I'm just too tired to even think about going into work anymore.

I've got a life outside of work too.

Though, I do hope that me saying that I can't work has left a bad image. I don't want it to look bad and ruin my chances of being kept on.

I don't know what I would do if I lost my job.

Well, I guess I'll just have to go back to the job hunt. It's just that this time, I have some really good experience. I've worked in a proper retail place, and I've been paid for it. It's lasted longer than a week so, it actually counts for something.

Anyway.

I hope everything is going okay with everyone else.

I've got my hopes up. I've only got next week in school now. Then its the Christmas holidays!

Yay!

Anyway.

Night!

Not going to be a long post tonight

Because, I think is slowly becoming my second home.

You see, I was called in again today, and I'm in again tomorrow. I'm so tired lately that I'm having trouble focusing in school.

I guess that I'll get used to it eventually, but it's just  a lot to deal with at the moment.

And, incidentally, my mum is going back into hospital on Monday. She's assured us it's nothing serious, she found a lump on her breast, but they've been to the doctors about it, and has had all these tests, and it's apparently not cancer.

Thankfully.

But anyway.

I'm going to bed.

I'm just too tired, and my back is aching me from just sitting in this chair, let alone stay here for any length of time.

Night!

My back hurts....

So, I've successfully (or unsuccessfully, it depends on which way you want to think about it), finished my third shift in work.

I never realised how much it would hurt!

You see, today was an 8 hour shift, and by the end of it, I could barely move. My back was killing. I'm known for having back problems in any case (I used to be a dancer, I did Ballet, tap, jazz and modern, this apparently has something to do with it), so, standing around for 8 hours did not help at all.

I think I've gotten the hang of making pizza's now. I'm making a lot more than what I did on the first night, and Dawn said, be prepared for a few calls this week. We've been having staffing problems apparently.

Which is, hopefully, good news for me because then they'll, hopefully, keep me on after Christmas.  I'm really grateful to them as it is, because they've actually taken me on, and are giving me shifts. Not many people would have taken me on, especially a big company like ASDA. I would have expected them to have only taken on people with retail experience.

I must have struck lucky somewhere.

The only thing that doesn't seem to be working out for me at the moment, is the fact that I seem to be getting loads of burns at the moment from work. I keep burning my fingers on the thing to seal the pizza's when I put the cling film on them.

Oh, well,
I'm sure that's something that I'll get rid of in a couple of shifts.

It looks like I'll be getting them.

Night!

Too tired to think.

So, every part of my body is aching. Mainly for the fact that I've been working.

And I'm working again tomorrow at 8 in the morning. How bad is that?

Okay, to most people, it's probably not bad at all. But it is for me.

I'm tired enough as it is...

Anyway.

Going to bed early.
Maybe I'll have time to write some stuff for Molly tomorrow. After work, and after I've written my essay plan, and done some work for English language. Sounds like kinda  a lot. Homework gets priority tomorrow.

But yeah, the essay plan shouldn't take me too long, then the coursework shouldn't be too bad. If I like analyze Catcher in the Rye and take it to Mr Shaw to have a look over and ask him if it's okay at the moment. Then, I can, hopefully, do some writing for Molly.

Moving on.

See you tomorrow.

I'm sure all of this working is going to make me fit in the end....

Night!

Finished my first shift

For work.

And boy am I tired.

So, this morning. I went to school, and when I checked my phone break time, I had a missed call. From ASDA. So, I phoned them back. She had said something over the phone about me not turning up for a shift I was supposed to have yesterday night.

I had no idea I even had the shift.

So, I apologised to my manager, whom I met today, by the way. He said it happened often. Okay. So, maybe this woman isn't exactly the most organized. There are moments I feel that my brain isn't there either...

But yeah, it was really hard. I was on the pizza counter. There were supposed to be five of us. There was only two of us. Me and this other woman. So, it must have been bad for her, because I didn't know anything, and she had to basically handle most of it on her own.

Though, by the end, I  can officially say to you, that I'm trained to make a halfway decent pizza.

And I also smell like one.

Lol.

Anyway.

I'm too tired to talk about anything else. Gareth, my manager, said he'd get her to ring me if I was working tomorrow.

Sounds like fun, eh?

Night!

So...

I've decided to put Danny's story on hold for the moment, as a different story. One that's been in the making for quite a long time now has come to the forefront of my attention lately.

So, I'm not writing the story of Molly Jackson. It's quite a bit more lighthearted than Danny's story. It's got less heavy themes in it. Though, as always, it's a fantasy story. Probably aimed more at teens. You can find it on fictionpress

www.fictionpress.com/~beehumphrey 

I'm just going to post it there. One of the main reasons being. On fictionpress, it's supposedly held on copyright. Which, here, on blogger, it's open domain, so anyone can take it. I didn't think of that when I was posting Danny's story.

So, I probably won't be posting more here. I'll be posting more over there now.

At least I'm putting my fictionpress account to use. It doesn't really do much. I opened it with the intentions of, like, putting loads of stuff on it.

Sadly, I think, it was around that time when I was off writing for a while, but I seem to be getting back into the swing of things now.

So, maybe my stuff will get noticed. But there's a load of stuff on there, so it's highly unlikely. I just want to share my work. And the stuff that I'm posting is only first drafts in any case. They'll probably change loads by the time it comes to actually seeking out someone to publish them properly in books.

But yeah, writing seems to be putting me in a good mood.

So, all's good.

Tomorrow is my first shift of work, and I'm coming down with a cold. How bad is that?

It all sucks.

Anyway.

Speak to you tomorrow I guess. Where I will continue to talk about my adventures in working....

Night!

It's the first of December.

And I don't coming bearing good news even though it's the beginning of Advent.

So, you see. Well, you don't see, I'll just talk.

My sister's been cutting herself.

Yep.

Just found out today.

That's not the reason why I'm blogging though. Well, necessarily, yes it is. But I'm going to be talking about it in a way, which to most people, will seem really offensive. But it's something that I'd like to say to her face, but knowing my luck, she'd flip out and start cutting herself more just to spite herself.

What I want to say to her, that this is probably the lowest form of stupidity that I've ever seen someone achieve. I don't care what the reason behind it is (it's got something to do with being stressed out from exams. I don't think that this is even a margin of a good reason to start self harming. It's not even a reason at all), but it's the most idiotic and cowardly thing I've ever seen you do.

I want to tell her, that some crappy and stupid exams are not a good enough reason to self harm. Nothing is a good enough reason to self harm. Gah, I hate it when people cut themselves, thinking 'I'm cutting to myself because I can't handle life.' Self harm has got to be one of those things that really piss me off.

I just don't see the point in it. What are you going to gain by doing it? Is it going to make the exams stop? Or whatever other reason you're cutting yourself for stop? No, it isn't. So grow up. Accept that exams are stressful. Open your eyes. Everyone else is feeling the same way as you. You have everything you ever need. Supporting parents who are worried about you. A school that's passed every other year before you, so what's now going to make any difference?

It just pisses me off, is all.

Sure, everyone has a shitty moment in their lives, or live shitty lives. Get shitty luck. God, look at me. Molested and raped. But the thought of killing myself and self harming has never even crossed my mind. I don't want to take the easy route out. I want to be able to grow up and say. Yeah, I lived through it. Sure, it got to me sometimes and I was depressed about it. But I never let it get to the point where I would want to end my life. I would never even consider. I mean, it passed through my mind on a brief occasion. The 'What difference would it make if I was here?', and when I was truly depressed about what had happened. The one thing that would keep me going was. I can't kill myself yet. I don't know how Naruto is going to end.

I know, right?

But what's the point? What's the point in trying to kill yourself. I just can't get the idea.

One thing she did that pissed me off too. Was when I'd been standing in the cold for ten minutes waiting for her, wondering what the hell she was doing to be so late getting out of school. She tells me Mam and Dad are at the school. She doesn't answer me when I ask why. We walk to get her bag. Walk back out. I ask again. She shows me lines across her wrist (isn't that supposed to be like a cry for attention?), quite proudly might I ask. I ask, where did you get them? A razor she says proudly.

That's what pissed me off. It's like she wasn't doing it for any specific reason, just to tell me 'oh, yeah, look at what I've been doing? I'm so fucking cool, aren't I?'.

The first thought that ran through my head was. No, you're fucking stupid, that's what you are.

Anyway.

I guess, since I'm not going to say it to her face unless I'm ridiculously angry with her. Then there's no point in going on about it.

See you soon I guess.

I'm not sure whether it's the right atmosphere or not to put 'Night!' on this blog. It doesn't seem to be....

P.S. Sorry for swearing. I kinda got carried away. I don't usually swear on my blog. Emotion just got the most of me. I guess, I'm usually just an unemotional bastard sometimes...

Lol,

What can you do, eh?