It's the first of December.

And I don't coming bearing good news even though it's the beginning of Advent.

So, you see. Well, you don't see, I'll just talk.

My sister's been cutting herself.

Yep.

Just found out today.

That's not the reason why I'm blogging though. Well, necessarily, yes it is. But I'm going to be talking about it in a way, which to most people, will seem really offensive. But it's something that I'd like to say to her face, but knowing my luck, she'd flip out and start cutting herself more just to spite herself.

What I want to say to her, that this is probably the lowest form of stupidity that I've ever seen someone achieve. I don't care what the reason behind it is (it's got something to do with being stressed out from exams. I don't think that this is even a margin of a good reason to start self harming. It's not even a reason at all), but it's the most idiotic and cowardly thing I've ever seen you do.

I want to tell her, that some crappy and stupid exams are not a good enough reason to self harm. Nothing is a good enough reason to self harm. Gah, I hate it when people cut themselves, thinking 'I'm cutting to myself because I can't handle life.' Self harm has got to be one of those things that really piss me off.

I just don't see the point in it. What are you going to gain by doing it? Is it going to make the exams stop? Or whatever other reason you're cutting yourself for stop? No, it isn't. So grow up. Accept that exams are stressful. Open your eyes. Everyone else is feeling the same way as you. You have everything you ever need. Supporting parents who are worried about you. A school that's passed every other year before you, so what's now going to make any difference?

It just pisses me off, is all.

Sure, everyone has a shitty moment in their lives, or live shitty lives. Get shitty luck. God, look at me. Molested and raped. But the thought of killing myself and self harming has never even crossed my mind. I don't want to take the easy route out. I want to be able to grow up and say. Yeah, I lived through it. Sure, it got to me sometimes and I was depressed about it. But I never let it get to the point where I would want to end my life. I would never even consider. I mean, it passed through my mind on a brief occasion. The 'What difference would it make if I was here?', and when I was truly depressed about what had happened. The one thing that would keep me going was. I can't kill myself yet. I don't know how Naruto is going to end.

I know, right?

But what's the point? What's the point in trying to kill yourself. I just can't get the idea.

One thing she did that pissed me off too. Was when I'd been standing in the cold for ten minutes waiting for her, wondering what the hell she was doing to be so late getting out of school. She tells me Mam and Dad are at the school. She doesn't answer me when I ask why. We walk to get her bag. Walk back out. I ask again. She shows me lines across her wrist (isn't that supposed to be like a cry for attention?), quite proudly might I ask. I ask, where did you get them? A razor she says proudly.

That's what pissed me off. It's like she wasn't doing it for any specific reason, just to tell me 'oh, yeah, look at what I've been doing? I'm so fucking cool, aren't I?'.

The first thought that ran through my head was. No, you're fucking stupid, that's what you are.

Anyway.

I guess, since I'm not going to say it to her face unless I'm ridiculously angry with her. Then there's no point in going on about it.

See you soon I guess.

I'm not sure whether it's the right atmosphere or not to put 'Night!' on this blog. It doesn't seem to be....

P.S. Sorry for swearing. I kinda got carried away. I don't usually swear on my blog. Emotion just got the most of me. I guess, I'm usually just an unemotional bastard sometimes...

Lol,

What can you do, eh?