So...

I didn't get the job in Marks and Spencer. It's all good. I know where I went wrong because the woman told me where I went wrong, so the next time I apply for a job there, I now know how to ace the test there...

I guess I should feel a little more disappointed than what I am, I don't though, I'm just used to rejection by now.

Anyway, I guess in a blog it's kinda expected for you to talk about your feelings. You know? Being at one with yourself and all that crap. So I figure I should talk about them.

So, I've been feeling kind of down lately. I don't know what's wrong with me, I've just been feeling a little depressed. Well, more depressed than what I usually am. I feel like my happiness today has been really forced. Though I'm constantly tired all the time, that probably has a really big part in why I've been feeling down lately. I'm also probably not getting out of the house enough...

Anyway, so, I don't think that's there's really a big reason for me to be feeling depressed. I mean, sure, I haven't had the best past in the world, but shouldn't I move on? Should I be stuck in the past all the time? I want to open up more to people. I want to be able to tell them that the reason why I don't let people hug me, touch me, or whatever, is because of bad experiences. I'm pretty positive that that shouldn't change what people think of me, right? I shouldn't care about what people think about me, but I do.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is spirally out of control, but then I remember that what happened isn't going to happen again. I shouldn't be thinking about it. The rest of the family pretends like it never happened, so maybe I should move on like them... but it wasn't them who were suffering. They don't have the memories of what happened. It's easy enough for them to move on with their daily life and think it was some big dream, one that should never be mentioned again.

I want to feel like that, that that part of my life is just some big horrible nightmare and nothing more and shouldn't invade my mind every time I'm alone.

I feel really stupid when I mention all this stuff on my blog. Sure, I only mention is a few times, but I feel like I'm repeating the same point over and over again.

I think I've bored people enough, right? So, I'll just leave you there, I know it's kinda half thoughts on here today and I was going to write the new chapter of DYRM, time just seemed to pass me by...

I'm determined to finish it though. I'm not just going to leave it where it is...

So, I'm off to bed now...

Night!

I'm nearing

The end of DYRM now. Well, the end in terms of the phase of the book where everything starts to get resolved and ready for the last few scenes of the story.

Which, in my opinion, makes it all the more infinitely harder to write, I've got to try and remember every last plot detail so far, so that the answer I've got for everything is okay. Then there's sorting everything out. Getting to his friends, bringing them home. Finding out more about this tome. I've got some more turmoil to stick Danny through just yet... it's all going to be really, really, good. Well, I hope so. It plays out good in my head.

So, I've only written like a page and a half when I said that I was going to write the whole chapter. I've been kinda distracted. I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon and I've been you know, stuck in one of them day dream trances where everything seems to go okay in the interview.....

Anyway, so I'm going to be keeping this blog post on the short...

Speak to you tomorrow, where I'll yet again, probably won't have any more writing done. Though I am determined now to write at least a chapter a week now that I'm back in school.

So...

Night!

I hop everyone else is having a better time than me!

Pay It Forward

I've probably mentioned this film in my blog before, I can't remember, but, I'm going to mention is again...

So, personally, I think Pay It Forward is a truly amazing film. I was watching the trailer for it just now, and to be honest with you, the trailer doesn't really it do it justice. I'm not much of a fan of that kind of film, but I watched it, because at the time I was completely and utterly obsessed with anything with Haley Joel Osment in it (I still am, but....).

The film is just amazing, and potentially the only film to get my to cry at the ending more than once. Once I've seen a film with a sad ending I don't usually cry, but this one... Well, I cry ever time I see the film.

But anyway, I think I should get to talking about my boring old school life now, shouldn't I?

So, I've done like nothing at all in school today. I've seen my timetable and boy is it currently empty. I have 26 free lessons this year. Currently, I don't know whether to be excited or not about it. This time last year I hated free lessons because I didn't know what to do with my free time. I was so used to having full days every day, I just didn't know what to do.

By the time the year was coming to a close, I was wishing I had more and more free lessons. At least that's what I got this year, right?

Anyway.

I'm going to bed. It's been a long day...

Night!

And hopefully, tomorrow, I'll have actually written the next chapter of DYRM. I haven't written it in like a week now. I'll forget what I want to happen if it carries on like this! Lol.

Is it called an obsession...

When you constantly watch something on repeat, and when you're not watching it, you quote it?

You see, as of late, I've really, really, been into YuGiOh Abridged. I mean, I've always liked his stuff. I've been watching his video's for like four years now. But lately, I've been watching his videos all the time. Repeatedly. I've also started to watch YuGiOh GX abridged, by different people (it's done by two people), which is equally as funny. I guess YuGiOh Abridged gas a little more sentimental value to me though. The guy who plays Jaden in YuGiOh GX abridged though is seriously talentled. His name is ShadyVox (well, his internet name is Shady, of course it's not his real name...), he's got some serious talent on him. You should really watch his rap battle with Little Kuriboh. It's called YUGI VS JADEN - BATTLE!

So, I, personally, think I watch this show way too much. It's like constantly on my computer.

Maybe it's just a phase. It's a funny thing though. No one else I know seems to think he's very funny, well, they don't exactly understand the jokes like I do. That usually sticks out how much of a nerd I am, right?

Anyway, moving on.

So, I mentioned about going to a party yesterday (did I say party of fundraiser? I don't really remember). To be honest with you, I was quite bored there. I wasn't allowed to drink any alcohol because I was underage, and none of the parents there that I knew were offered to get me anything, so I went the party without any.

I guess it's true. I just don't enjoy a party as much when I'm sober. Half of the stuff I do, I do because I'm drunk and don't really have that much control over what I'm doing...

Anyway, so it was a drag. Not much really happened. The Karaoke went on for like... ever. It would have been a better karaoke session if people actually did songs that were a little more entertaining... but oh, well, who knows? There's always next time, right?

Not much else to talk about...

I'm actually going to bed at a reasonable time, I'm knackered in general, but I do have school tomorrow, and the first day of lessons.

Joyous occasions, right?

Night!

School seems to have a negative effect on me

Because I seem to think less and less about my writing.

So I've officially dropped Maths now, so there's no need to worry about how much I'm failing that subject. And I'm out tomorrow night, which probably means I won't be blogging tomorrow night. I was truly and honestly going to be writing the new chapter of my story tonight. It's just time seemed to pass my by and I was watching these Little Kuriboh video's...

Do you ever get that? I seem to be getting a lot of those moments at the moment. That's a strange sentence...

Anyway.

So, I was watching the live version of the Yugi vs Jaden rap battle live, the one from Otakon. I was kinda suspicious of whether it was ShadyVox doing the rapping at first, but I'm proud to say that I stand corrected. He's definitely one heck of a talented person. I think his Jaden voice is just the best. Not that I've actually listened to any other of the GX dubbed. DarkSideIncorporated seemed a lot more popular, and from the first time I watched the Rap Battle in general, I knew they'd be the one to watch.

Anyway, moving on.

So, tomorrow, I'm going to a fundraiser for my Irish Dancing group. I'm not actually doing anything in the fundraiser, because I didn't turn up to any practices during the school holiday. I had every intention to, it just didn't happen. Tuesday's aren't exactly a good night for me.

But anyway, I'm still going to the fundraiser as a spectator, then there's the karaoke machine. No one can say no to a karaoke machine.

Before all that though, I'm going to see The Last Exorcism tomorrow and I'm totally crapping myself. It looks really scary.

To be honest with you, I'm a real big wimp when it comes to horror movies. I'm always scared, I jump at like the smallest of things....

But anyway, I know I'm going to have to go to it, I promised my younger sister that I'd take her to see her first horror movie when she turned 15. There haven't really been that many good horror movies out since she turned 15, so we kinda just waited, and she wanted to see this one anyway.

But moving on, that's a pointless story.

I hope everyone else has a better Saturday than me.

And I've noticed that we know have a 'stats' feature on Blogger. I wonder what it does...

Jokes. I've already taken a look at it. It's like the fanfiction 'where in the world are people reading your fanfictions' thing. I'm not too bothered. I mean, I post on blogger for my writing and just mainly getting things off my chest. I do do some reviews of stuff I've read or seen. I usually just tend to obsess over everything though...

So, I'll see you Sunday probably.

Hopefully, I won't have too much of a hangover. Well, that depends if I'm even allowed to drink tomorrow night. I know my mum doesn't care, it depends on whether I'll get served. You know, being underage and all....

Night!

I think this has been the longest blog for a while. You know, one without just my chapter on it. One with just me talking for once. Well, I probably don't mind, it's the people who are on my stats page are the ones probably thinking 'oh, get over yourself already'. I would be. I do nothing but complain!


I've said it once, but I feel I need to say it again, just to put some kind of closure to this blog, and the fact that I might be missing my blog tomorrow (it really depends what time I come home, it says 7:30 till late...)


Night!

School

Must obviously make me forget about blogging. I only just remembered before I was going to turn my computer off.

So, I've done like nothing at all in school today. We couldn't do the work we were supposed to do because no one had brought it in because we hadn't been told that we needed it.

We know now to bring it in ready for tomorrow.

But anyway.

School's a bore, just as expected. I should be able to type the new chapter of my story tomorrow. I know I'll have a lot of free time tomorrow.

I'm not sure about Saturday, I'm in a fundraiser until late. Though, I do know that's going to be epic. 

Anyway, maybe tomorrow's blog will be a bit lengthier. 

Night!

School tomorrow...

I really don't want to go back to school, but sadly, I don't really have a choice.

I'm trying to be positive about it, and think, well, at least it's my last year this year. But it doesn't seem to be working.

Oh, well, it's not going to be a long blog post today. I don't have time, I was like supposed to be turning in for bed like half an hour ago. I kinda got carried watching Little Kuriboh video's on youtube.

Oh well, I guess tomorrow can be a blog post about ho much this year is going to suck!

Night!

I hope everyone else is going to be having a better day than me. At least I'm with friends, right?

Oh, yeah, and another thing. I have a job interview Wednesday with Marks and Spencer.  They certainly ask for a lot. Lol.

I'm going now.