So, I haven't been on here in forever.

So, let me get you updated on the highs and lows of my life so far... You would have thought that moving out of my house and living on my own at University would make me so much happier, right?
Wrong.

My life does have it's up moments, and it's down moments. Of course. I can never be happy according to the rule of thumb, but that's a depressing thought. And a very selfish and immature one at that. I just get so frustrated sometimes. I don't really know what to think of myself...

So, lets begin.

My first experience of 'living away' began with Alcon. I may have mentioned it on here. I may not have, but it's an anime convention. I loved every minute of it. Though I did spend most of it drunk. I think I smoked about 40 over four days that few days. But I did have a blast. I met a few people who would be in the year above me who went to DMU, where I am currently situated.

So, I started looking forward majourly to moving away. And for the first few weeks, well, the first term was great. Until the end. My flat mates and I were okay with each other. We weren't majourly close, but we got on. We went out drinking and clubbing together and I was living 'the student life'. I'd also made a close friend named Sam, to whom I spend most of my waking life.

But I also gained a boyfriend. I know. What? So not in my character, but I met him at Alcon, and we got along great. I never fancied him or anything, but I ended up sleeping with him, and then I felt bad so I agreed to go out with him so I wouldn't look like a slut.

Potentially one of the worst mistakes of my life. He was constantly depressing, insulting, so after a short relationship of two and a half months, I broke up with him. I told him he needed help and that I couldn't give it to him. He was thinking wayyy into the future too. Marriage? Seriously? I'm only 18, in university, marriage is someting so far off my mind that I don't really care about it. So, that could be considered a bitchy thing to do, but whatever.

But back to the flat mates. So, considering we don't really get alone all that well, I asked my friend Sam if she wanted to get a house with me next September (That's one thing I'm super excited for. I can't wait to get away from here...), but suddenly, after I told them at my flat that I didn't want to live with them next year, suddenly, they're not talking to me. They don't invite me anywhere. I ask them if they want to do something, and they never want to do anything. Okay, we have completely different interests. I love anime and reading, and they love Keeping up with the Kardashians (is that spelt right? Oh, wait. I couldn't care less). See the difference here? They all want the perfect life with husbands and children. I don't really care about something like that. I love listening to heavy rock, they love listening to Rihanna. The list could go on, but that's the point. We're like polar opposites. But Sam and I get along really well. I mean, she's not a fan of anime of any of my music. But we have common interests and we talk and get along very well.

Did you get all that? It seems really sloppy to me...

Anyway, so they're not talking to me, presumably because I'm not moving into a house with them. I'm kinda like, well, it's not like we got on in the first place, so what does it matter if I don't get a house with you next year? Or is that really petty? I don't know at this point. They all just give me a headache.

But anyway.

So, my life isn't in total disarray, I mean, it can sometimes get a little lonely when you find no one in your flat wants to speak to you, but what else is the internet for?

Actually, after writing about it, my life doesn't seem as bad as I first thought it was... anyway..

I'm going home for the weekend in a few weeks, so I'll get to see my family again (I find myself strangely missing them sometimes...). And my sister is coming up in two weeks or so. My weekends look like they might be filling up a bit xD

So, I'll see you whenever I guess. I'll probably just come back to complain now and again. You should know what I'm like by now... not that anyone reads this... I think it's more of a me saying it to me thing...

So, it's been a bad week.

We found out on Thursday that my mum does have cancer. It's been kind of depressing at home, so I've been trying to like go out and be with friends as often as possible.

Then, there's also the fact that, Ffion and me are leaving the city, country, whichever, in a couple of weeks so we're trying to spend our last moments together as often as possible.

So. It's been kinda depressing at home.

Not that it hasn't been for weeks.

I can't wait to get out.

But then, by leaving now, I'm leaving Sara to everything. Which I don't really like doing....

So, I don't know whether a lot has happened or not

Since I last posted my blog.

You see, any other time I hadn't blogged for a week, I, first off, feel really guilty that I haven't blogged in so long, consciously.

And secondly, that I have a lot more to talk about than now.

Well, that's not actually the case, it's putting it all into words than I'm probably having trouble with.

So, lets go from the start, shall we?

So, I've been having a lot of family trouble at the moment. My mum in particular is a problem, but, Dad usually tends to follow her choice in anything, so family trouble is family trouble.

My mum has been having shoulder problems since she was in a car accident about 11 years ago now. So, a couple of months back, the hospital finally decided that there was actually something wrong, and they did an operation in hopes of sorting everything out.

That was a failure. The hospital declared it a failure a while back, and put her on a list to have another operation. So, we've got this one thing looming over our heads at the moment.

So, a few months down the line, I find myself in a car accident myself. It was two weeks ago yesterday, so I probably did mention it. There's not much to really talk about concerning the accident. It's the aftermath that's being a bit of a bitch.

So, we're all on compensation claims. I mean, I was hurt. My neck, and my back and arms were all stiff. Though, they are getting better at the moment.

So, we've got all this insurance and claims thing looming over us.

So, basically on the same day, my mum comes out with a thing of, she might have cancer, and is being tested for it. On the day of the crash, she went to the hospital to have some camera shoved up her ass, I can't really remember what it was called, but, they found a lump in her bowel (there's a history of bowel cancer in the family, so she went to see if there was a possibility of her having it too), so, all last week she was having tests, and us, as the rest of her family, were basically not allowed out of the house unless it worked for her.

So, after that, and missing a chance to hang out with my friends, because of these tests. The hospital ring us to tell us we'll have to wait a little longer for the results because the main doctor in all this, has suddenly decided to take a holiday.

So, we've now got this all hanging over our heads too.

Then, I went out drinking with friends Friday night. Well, friends and my friends friends from work. Know what I mean? I've met them before and they seem to be nice people, so there was no worry there.

Well, there shouldn't have been.

Jordan, was flirting with a boy from Cerys' work (Cerys is the friend with the ones from work), whom Cerys has the hots for. Basically, this outing into town was to see if we could set these two together because he seemed to be interested in her, and she was interested in him. So, to see how things went, we sorted it the British way. Getting drunk.

So, instantly as the alcohol is starting to set in. Jordan is flirting with the boy in front of Cerys. Cerys is getting extremely upset about this because Jordan knows who she's flirting with, and he's flirting back with her.

So, after a while, one of Cerys' work friends sorts it out and tells Jordan what she's doing wrong. So, Jordan becomes all apologetic. But basically continues doing it.

So, yesterday now, Jordan added them all as friends over facebook, and is wondering when they're all going out again because Jordan wants to go out with them all again. This upsets Cerys even more because she thinks Jordan is after him.

Jordan went out again last night for one of her other friends 18th. And was texting Cerys all night if she could have his number, and was badgering her for his number. Basically begging her for his number.

Cerys kept saying no, which got Jordan angry.

They seem to be fine today. But Cerys is pretty pissed off with Jordan because Jordan knew the whole situation and was still going at it. And I'm kinda stuck in the middle because I don't want to lose either friend because I'm leaving soon and I don't want to be leaving on bad terms.

So, we're all going out to see a film (Captain America) on Wednesday night. We're going to eat in T.G.I. Fridays before hand. So, it should all be good.

And hopefully everything will have settled down by then.

Another thing to add that's hanging over my head (and has been since I finished my A Levels) is results day. Which is a week Thursday.

It's been too long a wait. Some part of me just wants to get it over with. Another part of me doesn't want to know because I know I haven't done all that good in them....

Anyway, after a surprisingly long blog tonight. I'm heading off to bed.

Now that I've got it all written down, it does feel like a lot has happened.

Oh, yeah, and whilst I remember. Another problem to add to my growing list of problems is my DVD drive on my computer doesn't work anymore. I had to take it to Apple last week to get someone to pull a DVD out of it for me, and they basically said unless I'm willing to hand out £180, I'm basically going to have to live without a DVD drive.

Which sucks because I can't afford that at the moment.

But anyway.

I'm going to bed now.

Night!

So, the start of a new week.

And hopefully, this week'll be a good one. But. hopefully saving all the extreme good luck to August the 18th, where I get my A Level results.

I most certainly need a lot of luck for that.

On a bright note, I watched a couple of trailers today for films I'd like to see...

This is the Amazing Spider-man trailer. I haven't exactly been keeping up with the progress of this film. I just knew it was coming out next year.

I did not know that they'd finished shooting the film, and a trailer had been released... Ooops.

Anyway this is the trailer for that.

I think it looks pretty awesome...



This is a short preview for The Avengers. Which, looks pretty awesome too... (It won't let me embed it...)

http://youtu.be/hcDTuinqk2Q

This is the trailer for a Guillermo del Toro film, it actually looks quite creepy and scary. Not that I'd expect anything less from him...





This is a film called The Silent House. It's in a foreign language, but that doesn't matter. It still looks pretty awesome. Though, I don't think it'll be hitting my shores....





And this is The Dark Knight Rises. The new Batman film. 


http://youtu.be/apMXFloDH6M


That also won't let me embed...


So, so far, it looks like it could be a good time for films next year. Excluding Don't Be Afraid of the Dark and the Silent House as they are due to be released this year. Apparently, the Silent House has already come out according to youtube. Who knows.


So, next year, we have 


The Amazing Spider-Man
The Dark Knight Rises.
The Avengers.
The Hobbit part one.


And my sister will kill me if I don't mention this one.


Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters I think this one is called.


I read the books, but this was going back a while now....


Night!

So, my week has actually been shit.

So, on Monday, I was in a car accident.

Tuesday, I was aching all over with whiplash.

Wednesday, I was ill all day with some viral infection.

Today, well, I've got a DVD stuck in my computer that refuses to be ejected. Then, my parents refused to let my sister and I go to London for a couple of days in August. I can understand their reasons. Mam might be in hospital having an operation.

But sometimes, I feel like they just want to put my life on hold just because one thing goes wrong.

I never hear the end of it. It's like I can't live my own life.

Then, they get insulted when we don't ask Mam how she's feeling in the morning, because it's apparently inconsiderate.

Honestly, it's like, I'm not allowed to live anymore.

I understand it's a difficult situation. Trust me I do.

But I just don't understand how this is supposed to affect my daily life....

Anyway.

Another reason they wouldn't let us go is because of Samuel.

Of course, he takes president over everything in this house. We cant do anything in this house until we know what Sam's going to be doing.

I'm just really frustrated I guess....

So, I'm going to bed now.

Night!

My Blog seems to have become

Just a place for me to explain why I didn't blog the night before.

Which, is not my intention for blogging.

I know when I first started blogging my intention was to blog whenever I could. But since then, it became some sort of thing where I felt really bad when I didn't blog for like, a day.

Sometimes, most of the time, I find that I have nothing to blog about.

And it would be better if I blogged when I had something to say instead of everyday saying that  didn't really have all that much to blog about.

Not that this means that I'm going to stop blogging because, generally, my life if full of nothing's anyway....

So, moving on.

I didn't blog yesterday because I was  out with Sara and my brother. We went to the pub. It was late when I came back, and to be honest with you, I just couldn't be bothered.

I was in a car accident yesterday. Nothing too serious, I'm just super achy.

I still went to work afterwards. I did  consider calling in sick, but then, I do need the money.

It was hellish, but what can I do?

So, nothing much else had happened with me.

I'll save the whole, I can't wait to get out of Swansea thing for tomorrow.

Night!

And I thought,

After a weekends worth of work, that by now, my weeks would be a little bit emptier.

But nope.

Welcome to the Summer holidays.

Where, I'll probably end up working. Though, at the moment, there is quite a lot of competition of hours and pay. Seen as though everyone else is also on holidays too.

So, now, I'm working tomorrow.

And I know I'll probably be called in, where, I'll promptly tell them to go and call Matt, who wants the shifts more, and to call me at a more decent hour to work maybe 10-2, because that works out better for me. :D

Like hell would that ever work...

Anyway.

I'm going to bed now, seen as though nothing interesting ever happens in my life.

Night!

I'm blogging now before it's too late

As, my mam has discovered how to turn off the wifi in the house.

Which sucks quite majourly.

So, I was planning on blogging yesterday, it's just, that I ended up going out drinking, and couldn't really think straight enough to blog when I got home.

So, my blogging this month has been terrible. I get that.

And there's nothing I can do about it. My life's just sort of been crazy. And I've not been near internet half the time.

Or, when I was in Malta, I just don't like blogging from my iPod, it's really awkward...

Anyway.

I'm going to bed now. I am thoroughly tired.

Night!

I didn't blog yesterday because

My internet kinda died out on me, and I literally had nothing until about ten this morning.

It's been playing up for ages, and it's really starting to annoy me now.

So, I'm blogging now whilst I know that I have the chance.

So, I got a new ID.

Thankfully, I seem to have gotten away with it before mam or dad found out.

Which is something short of a miracle.

Anyway.

So, there's nothing much else really been going on in my life.

So,

I'm going to watch a little more of FMA: Brotherhood.

Night!

So, I've got like a weird eye infection

Which sucks.

It is quite noticeable, but not badly so, otherwise I would hole myself up in the house to never go out until it's all healed.

So, I'm going to, hopefully, hand in my application form tomorrow for a new license, and then, I should hopefully have it on Friday.

I found my old photos in my mums room and I've hidden them, so, hopefully, that part will turn out fine too....

Not much else going on in my life at the moment. I'm going to watch some FMA: Brotherhood now.

I'm becoming obsessed... again.

Night!

So, I'll hopefully start getting a new ID tomorrow.

Since I lost my other one, I've got to get a replacement. Which means, I'm now going to have to sneak into the DVLA, and get another one as my Dad works there.

It's going to be a very cautious day, and I hope to God that I can find my old pictures of me from the last time, as I've got like an eye infection or something coming along. It's really quite annoying, but what else can I do about it?

Anyway.

I'm going to go to bed now, and I can't wait for this whole fiasco to be over with!

When I get my new one, I can forget it ever happened.

Night!

I admit to being one of the biggest idiots to have ever walked the planet,

You see. I lost my ID last night.

Yep.

You heard it. I lost it, I have no idea where it's gone. And now, I'm left needing to get another one, so, I'm stuck now without ID until I can get it.

And do it completely without Mam and Dad finding out about it.

So, I've somewhat got it all sorted out, but, I just feel so stupid. Like, how could I let that happen?

Especially when I was so careful with it.

I'm just an idiot.

Anyway.

I'm going to bed now.

Night!

So, I thought

Harry Potter was a big of a disappointment. I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I thought they could have done so much more with it than what they did.

I thought the acting was quite awkward at some scenes especially from Rupert Grint and Emma Watson. And that, once everything was just about starting, it was over.

Know what I mean?

I know a lot doesn't really happen in the last half of the book, and it's generally focused on the fight between Harry and Voldemort and the whole thing with Hogwarts. But, being a film, I thought they could have done so much more with the material they had to offer.

Oh, well, maybe I'll enjoy it a little more if I go and see it again in a couple of weeks when the whole hype has died down.

Anyway,

I'm planning on going to see Transformers 3 again this Wednesday.

I know, I know, but I can't see it in 3D anymore, as Harry Potter has come out and there's only one 3D in my cinema....

Not much to worry about though, the 2D version is just as good, I just don't get flying alien parts shooting out of the screen at me xD

So, I'm going to bed now.

Back in work tomorrow after not being there for nearly a fortnight.

Fun times, eh?

Probably not.

Night!

Is going to see Harry Potter in a few short hours

And yet, I find myself not really caring all that much.

The only film I really want to see at the moment is Transformers 3, which I have seen on numerous occasions by now.

And, it probably doesn't help that I'm super tired and really want to sleep.

So, I'll leave you with this.

I am going to bed now.

I'll probably talk tomorrow about Harry Potter and decide which'll be my epic movie of the summer.

I'm not really counting on much else...

Night!

So, I had a really good holiday

But I am totally knackered. Like, I slept for about 14 hours last night and I'm still quite tired.

We did loads, and since coming back, I find myself even more excited about leaving home.

I mean, it's not the freedom that's entirely what I'm looking forward too, it's the whole thing with my parents.

I mean, I don't want to be cruel to my parents, but since coming back, well, I had noticed it beforehand, but it's grown since we've come back, that I just don't really want to be with then. Sometimes, I can find that they have two sets of standards, are not really all that nice in general, and are quick to argue with anyone who doesn't agree with them.

Like, earlier for example, I said a joke, something about wanting to listen to my music by the table, and Mam threatened to kick me out of the house.

I just don't want to be here anymore.

I hate living in Swansea, I hate living in Wales.

I find nothing here to amuse me, and there's nothing really keeping me here.

So, I sincerely hope that I get into Surrey, because I don't really fancy going to anywhere in Wales.....

Night!

Hey, sorry I didn't blog last night

My internet waas dead. And I mean, I  couldn't get it to work for the life of me.

So, I had to leave my blog, and most other things for the morning.

I luckily managed to post the new chapter of my fanfiction before it shut down, and I definitely won't be posting anything now between here and at least next Wednesday.

I'll be posting here, Tuesday night, hopefully, because I'll be home by then...

Anyway.

I'm going to be leaving now, so I'm going now.

Bye!

So, I actually really want a dominos pizza.

But I know I can't get one for at least another week and a half because I'm going on Holiday in a couple of days.

Which leads me to tell you that I won't be on blogger for the duration of my holiday.

It's probably not as bad as it sounds, it's just, that I'm not taking my computer, and blogging from my iPod is a bitch, and I probably won't have a lot of time to be blogging.

I'll post loads about it when I come back.

That, or I'll sleep through my blogging.

Lol.

Anyway,

boring day again.

I never seem to do anything besides work and sleep on a weekend.

Anyway...

I'm going to bed now.

Night!

So, I do actually love Transformers 3.

I think it's so much better than the first 2.

I am a sap for epics like this though, the big special effects, and the sci-fi storyline. It's always a killer for me.

I just can't get enough of them.

And even though there will be about a million people who hated it. I guess, I'm just different to them.

I thought by far it was the best. And I hope to see another one, but if they think it's finished on a good note. Then, you know, there's not much I can do about it.

It was most certainly a good way to end it anyway.

Bumblebee was probably my favourite of the entire film. I thought he was class in this film. He had some real badass fight scenes, and was just really funny.

I thought, Optimus would be my next favourite because he was just epic too. And I actually thought a lot of Sam this time around too.

Usually, he's just there and I couldn't care less about what happened to him. But this time, I thought he had some pretty good things to do too.

So, I'll definitely be buying it on DVD when it comes out.

And I will watch it endlessly on DVD, and probably do a couple of days worth of marathons out of it.

One thing I really liked about this one was the fact that there was a lot of original music in it, and not backing tracks of rock songs.

Not that there was a problem to it, I just thought this time it really suited the film to have it's own music.

Maybe I could get the soundtrack? The original and the one with Linkin Park and all that on it too...

Anyway.

I'm going to bed now.

Night!

So, I haven't blogged in the last two days because

I've been feeling really out of it.

I don't usually get ill,  but this time it was a killer. I was doping myself up on paracetamol every four hours and I was still suffering.

So, not been a good start to my summer holidays.

At least it's come this week and not next week when I'm in Malta.

I'm actually really excited, even though I know I'm probably going to die of heat stroke or something...

Anyway, the computers dying, so I'm just going to leave it there...

Night!

Oh, yeah, I'm going to see Transformers 3 (again) tomorrow. (I saw it on Wednesday, I like, forced myself out of the house to see it, because I've been dying to see it...)

I'm not feeling all that well

Actually, I don't feel well at all.

I've got this unending dry throat, and I'm aching all over.

So, I'm actually going to leave it there because all I want to do is go to sleep...

Night!